Notes from my kitchen table, pt. 3

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I wish we were together, talking about movies.

Here’s what I would say:

I think the quality of the film is determined by the quality of the pre-production. This should be the time of deepest collaboration among the departments, when dreams are shared most courageously, potentials are discovered and explored, and spirits are given form. During pre-production, the dream is still mythological and universal, grand enough to contain the Universe. It should be the most carefree part. There will be plenty of time later, once shooting starts, for the unavoidable obstacles, logistics, and other dream-killers that harsh reality brings.

Why can’t we have fun now, at the start, when Imagination is still God?

We should be together, sitting face to face, writing and drawing. Talking deeply. Finding ourselves.

I’m not worried about a grade. This isn’t Algebra.

Tyler is the first person ever to approach me and say, “I want to produce your script, and I think you should direct it.” What a moment! What a celebration of conflicting desires and fears! What a dream!

And now, what a disappointment. The daydreams of potential have already collapsed into tough choices. Instead of answering a thousand exciting questions about character, lighting, music, composition, wardrobe, and what have you, all I get is the same disheartening question, over and over: “Is it even going to happen?”

My answer, to myself: “Still too early to tell. But if you give up, the answer is automatically No.”

Don’t be angry at me for saying things like this. I’m sure you’re feeling the same way. Just like me, you’re wondering.

And just like me, you’ll keep working. And you’ll be ready.

I hope I see you soon.

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