Day one of “A Painting” was a success, it had its chaos but what film set doesn’t have that. From my experience looking back, I don’t think I can remember a time when everyone kept their cool on set, even if it was a small or big issue. Also sometimes we get distracted or confused so we might come off lazy or that someone doesn’t know their job, but we push through. As well as feeling like a success I feel I have to rethink my strategy when it comes to conflict, as of now I am bad if not terrible with it, my handling of it can improve but I work with a crew who is at the end of the day still friends and co workers, this is important. We take 5 and relax, I learned even if it was a bit late, to watch what I say in tense moments and even though in a hard way I learned that not everything needs to be said at the moment a conflict happens. I’m done kicking myself however, but I feel things could have been handled better from me and I don’t always have to react. Breath, then ask think if this needs to be said, does it need to be said by me, and what will it accomplish being said? I wish I had this wisdom at the moment of these events but I’m not perfect, I made mistakes yesterday that I hope I can take in Day 2 today and be better.
I’m proud to be a part of 4381 productions, we had a long day yesterday, we all did a good share of work and wore many hats today on this production. So let’s be proud of our work and that we are almost done, of course we are tired and the work day was hard yesterday, tempers flared, I’m no exception to that but we didn’t let it keep us from finishing. So I for one will take what I learned yesterday and be better, because my department heads ask me to be strong minded and sharp on set, I don’t believe I did that for a majority of the shoot but I have to put my ego aside because it was misplaced and frankly just not productive.
I’m clearly making this sound more melodramatic than it was, as well as obsessing over my mistakes but all I can do is learn from them and move on. I don’t really have much else to say, I just wanted to get this off my chest because I feel at the end of the day we shot a film and we all should be proud of that. I believe many of my peers where able to check their egos, I would be lying if I said I wasn’t a bit jealous of that, I want to be better for them and start doing the same. I believe I can and I will, so I apologize for not being at my best and I hope this production with my faults in it and all will be the actual first step of a better me as a person, friend, co-worker, and filmmaker. So as a wise person once said on set one day “Lets create the damn thing!”