Today was a very long day for me, I managed to not really convey myself in very understanding way nor did I honestly try to be understood to anyone I talked to. So as always I continue to force others to interpret for me
I would like to say I was inspired today but unfortunately today left me feeling empty and depressed which I wish was easier for me to share because I would be shown that I am creative and I have great ideas. The silver lining however is that I feel one of my scripts is coming along and I am very grateful to have it reformatted by my boss in 4381 productions, it was probably the best thing that happened today since I felt lost for the majority of the day. I can’t wait to continue to work on it and improve my creativity but I really need to focus on whats important for right now.
I have yet to get anything started on my project, although the plan is still to shoot on Sunday and I will do my best to deliver and not resort to running away, I feel a sense of pride in my ability to keep getting up after I feel knocked down but I don’t do the best I can to stand on my own two feet. In fact I went back to asking questions to what others think I should do and without noticing it I found myself really not saying what I meant– which is that I just want support and maybe a little guidance but not the answer to my problem.
I have decided I might play with a few shot ideas of my own and see how it goes and then ask for feedback which is usually the best way to do it instead of doing it before you do the project, I really do have a good grasp of the song “Me and Bobby Magee” and I can’t wait to get my actors on location to shoot.
So this apology might not be needed but I’m sorry to those I confused today and lead to believe I needed cuddling, from my point of view you deserve better than that and I hope I can be the artist that maybe you see me as because I don’t ever give myself enough credit. Actually, most of the time I don’t want the answer to the problem I am having, I just love talking film and want to talk to anyone who is passionate about it all the time which the number grows every day, because I’m always learning something new about my passion and style.
I just needed to get that off my chest and like I said I hope people who read this can feel that they aren’t alone when it comes to being afraid of your own creations, furthermore when I finally overcome this obstacle I made for myself I want to be able to show others that they can get around themselves and do great things as well.
Thank you for listening to my story and to those who I spent time with today I want to thank you for listening to me and helping me.